What Would You Do if You Weren’t Afraid?
Notes from Lean In; Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
It has been eight years since Sheryl Sandberg published her work Lean In; Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. The book, which was talking about women and the ambition, was on the international bestseller list. However, since the beginning of its publication the book has raises several pros and cons from various groups, including women. There are those who agree and feel that what Sandberg said is a great motivation for women in dividing tasks between career and family. But there are also those who still feel that it is just a theory that remains impossible to implement in life.
Despite all the pros and cons, through her book Sandberg has managed to convey some valuable messages for women. Here are some of them:
Think positively about ourselves
When it comes to failure, women will think it is all about their lack of ability. Women also lack confident to accept opportunities. Before they try, most of them feel unsuitable and will not do it. Sandberg asks women to ‘stop feeling like a fraud’. Besides being confident, it is important to think positively about ourselves. We should not judge our performance as worse than it actually is. Of course, we will not be able to do everything perfectly, but we must remember that positive thoughts will lead to positive energy.
Don’t think too much, everything is fine
Sandberg comes out with an argument that “planning too far in advance can close doors rather than open them”, it means that if women think and even worry too much about their future, this will make them waste the current opportunities and limit their spaces. Women will be afraid of taking risk, trying to do many new things and going somewhere they have never visited. So, it is really important to believe that everything is fine and we can just do it.
Trust and respect are the key
In a relationship, especially in marriage, both wife and husband must believe and respect each other. A husband can truly respect his wife by assuming her existence is important, listening to her opinion, not limiting her space, always supporting her dreams and goals, etc. On the other hand, a wife must also be able to give a trust to her husband to take care of household matters, especially the children. Most women are hardly to trust their husbands to do all that, although they want to. For instance, if the baby is crying, Mom will automatically take the baby from Dad, because it needs more time for Dad to comfort the baby rather than Mom.
Great woman who respects women
There is a term called ‘Queen Bee’, which is defined as “a woman who flourished in a leadership role, especially in male dominated industries, and who used her position to keep other female ‘worker bees’ down.” A queen bee appears as a woman who always wants to be a centre, a leader, a respected person, a woman with power and confidence. That sounds great. Unfortunately, this queen bee is only doing it for herself. She wants to be a great woman but does not want other women be the same. She wants to be the only queen and looks down the others.
It is unfortunate that inequality which women get does not only raise women who are brave enough to voice their rights, but also there are those who become the queen bees. Sandberg states that “… women are not just victims of sexism, they can also be perpetrators”. This should never be happened. As a fellow woman, we should be able to move together to fight for everything that include our rights. “The more women help one another, the more we help ourselves.”
-Northern Ingo-
